what's all that racket

[persnicketiest]

can't be a has been if you were only an almost was

Comments

[persnicketiest]

( ugh

fuck )

it's like a fucking dog's tail when she's excited

[cauda]

87 fucking hair clips like she's a 15 year old olympic gymnast

[persnicketiest]

tight ass headbands to make sure she really cuts off all the blood flow to any remaining brain cells

[cauda]

[ the typing bubble appears and disappears at least five times ]

you think she's trying to appeal that russian oligarch sugar daddy demographic by looking like a fucking toddler?

[persnicketiest]

no i think it makes other players who like to shit talk underestimate her

[cauda]

i don't underestimate her

[persnicketiest]

you let her fully fucking bait your ass two weeks ago

[cauda]

i had the fucking flu!

[persnicketiest]

oh sure yeah my bad
one time i got a cold and fell pit deep into an mlm

[cauda]

oh fuck you you're so out of touch you couldn't even name one mlm

[ babygirl what is that comeback? no. honey, just no. ]

[persnicketiest]

( it's enough tho )

yeah out of touch let's call it that
look this little reunion's been super fun but maybe you should just go back to your world and i'll get back to mine

( has he gotten out of bed today survey says no because the mini-fridge is in reach tyvm )

[cauda]

idk how to tell you this buddy but literally just one world and we're all living in it

[persnicketiest]

and you say simone's the child huh

[cauda]

i said she dresses like one

[persnicketiest]

you've definitely got her there

[cauda]

i know

want me to come over and wash your hair?

[persnicketiest]

thanks but i had my daily invalid spongebath already

[cauda]

alright

[persnicketiest]

too much for the phenom huh? finally learned to retreat?

[cauda]

[ she hates that nickname ]

all i can do is take you at your word g

[persnicketiest]

( good )

is that what's happening then

[cauda]

[ there is a long pause, long enough that his little twitter (oh, i am so sorry, x) notification chimes and tennis weekly's newest tweet pops up declaring: "finnish phenom dumped by coach al peterson after repeated losses"; the sub-headline also doesn't say her actual name, but contains a quote by her former coach — "i coach winners, i can't coach someone who doesn't want to dig deep and make sacrifices for her game" ]

i'm trying

[persnicketiest]

( he's in a bad mood already when he starts getting into it with internet strangers—plenty of men delusional enough to think they could even survive a serve from serena, and a couple of wannabe news outlets he tells to fuck off a lot.

eventually he's swamped enough that he just goes ahead and fires off a bunch of tweets his erstwhile publicist would have both shouted at him for and also cashed in on. easy to call them all racists (she's swedish you fucking nonce) and easier to pull attention to himself and his washed-up status. he absolutely lances al and his team, and the only thing he regrets is that his hand isn't in good enough shape yet to make some s-tier memes.

somewhere in the middle, because he doesn't even know if she has a publicist, let alone one smart enough to warn her, he texts her: )

he's a cunt. stay off twitter.

[cauda]

you stay off twitter

[persnicketiest]

( he's got a thread going that the biggest babies are piling into and he loves every moment of it. tennis has never been about sacrifice, any player worth their salt would know that—then again big man has only ever been a coach sooo~ )

ok mum

( but it's not enough so he puts in his headphones and ring-ring, lind... )