what's all that racket

[persnicketiest]

can't be a has been if you were only an almost was

Comments

[cauda]

If I knew it would get you on the phone I would have fired him months ago.

[ she sounds so fucking tired. ]

[persnicketiest]

I was still high on oxy months ago.

( he sighs, realizing he's impulsively called her and now...hm. )

[cauda]

[ she snorts, shaking her head to herself. ]

I dunno, you might have been funny then. Be a nice change of pace.

[persnicketiest]

( he tries not to, but the laugh huffs out of him. )

I mostly slurred angrily at doctors.

( now he curses bloody murder at his pt torturer who seems to enjoy his pain. )

...You should've fired him a year ago.

[cauda]

Yeah.

[ she can't disagree. he was a shithead and a jerk but she was winning so maybe she needed a shithead and a jerk. that's what she always told herself at least.

then she didn't win because she was sick and he didn't let her rest and it was her fault, of course. especially when she kept not winning. she puts her cup down too heavy on the counter, wincing at the thud. ]

Hindsight, whatever. That immigrant work ethic fucked me over.

[persnicketiest]

Yeah.

( he also can't disagree. he puts twitter away, lets his head flop back down onto the pillow. holds his hand up toward the ceiling and watches as only two of his fingers actually bend when he asks them to. )

Still better to cut him loose now instead of after another year of his bullshit, though. Maybe you can fix whatever he did to your drop shot now.

[cauda]

My drop shot is not— [ gearing up to argue, she shuts her mouth so fast her teeth clack together.

she huffs an unhappy noise. ]

It used to be killer, huh. Maybe I'll find it back home in Finland.

[persnicketiest]

It was so annoying.

( he laughs, deep in his belly where it's unfamiliar and makes him feel a little dizzy. it was annoying: elegant and brutal and now he's back on twitter about it actually. better that than process this strange nostalgia for a time that wasn't that long ago, that he'll never get back to. )

As long as you steer clear of Sweden. I've heard it's a real shit hole.

[cauda]

My brother thinks if I win some big tournament, Helsinki will give me a key to the city.

[ stockholm has and she has it on her keychain like she is going to actually use it one day.

her blender whirrs to life before she mutes herself for the duration. ]

[persnicketiest]

( he snorts. )

Then you'll never ever hear the end of it.

[cauda]

[ with her mouth full: ]

It's the long game to give Sweden a Trojan horse in.

[persnicketiest]

( another deep laugh, in his throat. )

There's no way that didn't happen already.

[cauda]

If you come visit me at home, my dad can tell you all the wildest history stories.

[ both her parents are teachers. ]

[persnicketiest]

( he groans, half-joke and half genuine. )

No history story is wild...

( he's bored already!!! )

[cauda]

[ her scoff sounds like she is smiling, much happier than when she answered the phone. ]

Every story of Olga of Kyiv is wild.

[persnicketiest]

( yawwwwn big fake awful yawn he's a jock not a thespian )

[cauda]

Okay, I see how it is. Consider yourself disinvited to the entirety of Sweden. Banned.

[ banned! he is banned from her entire country!!! she has this clearance! ]

[persnicketiest]

I'll just steal your key.

( he probably should not be admitting he knows she has it, but this is the best he's felt in months and it's been an impulsive kind of day. )

[cauda]

I think you're too busy defending my honor on the internet to steal my shit, honestly.

[ her brother keeps texting her screenshots. she really can't escape twitter. ]

[persnicketiest]

( his tone shifts, voice dropping an octave, too low to be a command: )

I told you to stay offline, Lind.

[cauda]

You didn't tell Alex.

[ he was already a huge fan and now he has doubled down on stanning nat's "tennis bro" ]

[persnicketiest]

Shit.

( he sucks in a breath, blows it out again. maybe he can redirect. )

What's he up to these days anyway?

( wow, dude. smooth. )

[cauda]

Still throwing bricks.

[ he is a stone mason and does beautiful fucking work, just the most delicate and elegant masonry. people pay him so much money to put in stone backsplashes for them and then he retreats to the woods behind their childhood home to keep laying hand-carved stones to build his own fairy tale cottage.

the most views she has ever gotten on instagram was when she asked her brother a bunch of questions about when they were kids, as he was hauling boulders in a grey tee shirt. ]

He, uh, he punched Al. So I can see where the sound bites are coming from.

[ he's like an angry dog licking his wounds, she gets it. ]

[persnicketiest]

( gabriel makes a satisfied sound, hearing that alex's life is moseying along nicely. then he makes another, more sharply approving. )

Nah, that's not understandable. He's just a weak willed worm of a man.

( any decent person would have taken it on the chin instead of running and crying for everyone to hear. that's fine gabe's just gonna start #GlassJawAl real quick nbd... )

[cauda]

I'll tell him you approve.

[ there comes a scratchy, rustling noise as she sinks into the couch and smothers herself in the blankets.

she might sound better but she is still suffering from sleepy bitch disease. ]